Well I’m not quite sure what to say. I have never done a “go fund me ” page before. I’ll just tell you what is going on for me right now. Maybe you can help. I’m 71 years old and I have been living with a brain injury for good long part of my life now. I have had several blows or insults to the head in my life, but the last one in 1998 was the one that changed my life the most. I was in a MVA and got a closed head injury. It was a double whiplash, coup counter coup injury. It causes a shearing tear inside your brain. Since then I have been about half of the person I was before. Pain is my constant friend and everything has changed for me. Along with my head injury I got something called DYSAUTONOMIA. That is a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. Its sort of an INVISIBLE DISABILITY. Everything that is suppose to run automatically inside your body can malfunction with very little provocation. When you have dysautonomia you get stuck in the “fight or flight” stress response. Your bodily responses can spin out of control. It can take you for quite a ride, including your immune responses. If you look up dysautonomia on the internet you’ll see the list of symptoms, it’s quite all encompassing.
Anyway, I managed to get myself yelled at, quite unjustly I might add. It took my poor brain almost 2 weeks to even process what had happened to me. I don’t process emotion very well since the accident. Some things are just broken. I tried to speak up for myself and was dismissed. I was told it would be best if I forgot it ever happened. Best for who? The people and place where this happened have no interest in helping me. They have denied me 3 times. Now there seems to be a concerted effort to set me up and get me written up. I am learning to pray for those who have lied about me, gaslighted me, demeaned me and just generally done everything they can to rid themselves of me. My brain went into what I call ” full brain meltdown” after the lambasting, the details of which I will spare you. It’s not a pretty sight. I have managed for 20 plus years to avoid the stress level that causes this. I guess that is why you’re not suppose to yell at a neurologically damaged person. HELLO! Since then I have been struggling to survive and keep the wolf from the door. I know God is helping me to even face going to work each day and that it’s ONLY by His strength that I am able to function. I work very physically hard and do my very best each day. But I’m experiencing a cascade of symptoms that are taking a toll on me. I have an internal tremor which becomes visible on my left side if I drive too much or do too much. I feel shattered easily. I have poor digestion sometimes, unrestorative sleep, blurred vision, balance issues, weakness and muscles spasms. I guess the the worst symptom of all is my blood pressure. It is going high and low all at the same time. The R side and the L side do not always match anymore. Then it can be normal all of a sudden. Sometimes it gets SCARY HIGH. When both sides are sufficiently high to warrant it, I use garlic to treat it. My doctor tells me it would kill me if I took conventional blood pressure medication. In spite of it all, I feel the joy of the Lord every day. Praise God!
I have managed to track down 2 of the brain doctors who have treated me in the past. ( A great many of the doctors that I have seen have retired). They have both told me the risk of stroking out is very real and I must be treated ASAP. One of them has recommended the KEISER CLINIC in Chelsea, Michigan as being the very best place for me to go. Apparently dysautonomia is much better understood now than before but there are not very many clinics that offer treatment. I want very much to and NEED to go there ASAP. The only problem is being able to afford it. It cost $1250.00 per day for a minimum of 2 weeks (that is 10 clinic days). It’s an immersion therapy sort of thing. It’s most likely with a difficult case like mine it could take 3-4 weeks. That is of course if they can help me at all. It’s my only shot at living. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep functioning at any kind of sustaining level and I have no one else to take care of me. I pray that if the Lord has His hand in it, with the help of my Christian brothers and sisters and any other friends I may have to get me there, that they will be able to help me. The clinic doesn’t deal with insurance companies so I will have to have the money up front. I am living from hand to mouth at this stage of the game. Once upon a time I had some money, inheritance and some savings but no more. I have paid a lot of brain doctors to keep myself alive. And between COVID and intermittent work I am struggling to survive. I have searched high and low on the internet for benevolent foundations that might help me to NO AVAIL. I am going to need money for the medical costs which could be $25,000 and travel money, lodging, food, taxis , a house sitter, money to pay bills while gone and money to carry on in case I am with out a job after returning . I am hoping for a good recovery but I will take what the Lord deems fit for me.
I hope and pray that the Lord is moving your heart to help me in whatever way you can. If 50,000 people give me $1 dollar it should get the job done or 5000 people giving $10 or 500 people giving $100 – you get the drift. I don’t really know how much I will need. But God knows. I am cleaning up the house and getting rid of things so I will be ready to go (either way- whether I make it or I don’t), trusting that the Lord will open the way. He always has. He is awfully good at that. I’m counting on him and you all to see me through this. Please pray for whatever future the Lord has for me. If it’s time for me to go home and hang up my hat then I thank the Lord for all that I’ve had, family, friends, hardships, joys, dreams -mostly unfulfilled, the flowers and the birds, all the lessons in life and most of all for His loving presence with me always. Thanks up front for whatever you can do to help me give life one last shot and when we get to heaven, come up and tap me on the shoulder and tell me you were one of the ones who helped me, and I will give you a great big hug! God be with you always.
Keeping the faith,
Susan
